8oz Burger Bar

1401 Broadway
Web / Yelp

You can tell a burger joint is good when you arrive at 6pm without a reservation and they won't be able to seat you for at least 20 minutes. That happened to me and my friend Brad. We had just come from happy hour at Lobby, so I definitely wasn't able to wait. Luckily, we were able to try again a few weeks later for lunch and were the first ones to arrive.

The food is delicious, and I like that they have so many sides available to order a la carte. I recommend going with friends and sharing them, and even trading halves of your burgers. Dining with people who are willing to exchange halves or at least bites is the best way to deal with menus full of awesome choices.

I think I found my new favorite urinal in Seattle. It's a keg, and the water shoots down from the top when you flush it. Awesome.



And I love the juxtaposition of the elegant bowl sink sitting on top of and old wooden barrel. You'd expect the sink to be a big cast iron skillet or something. But this is cute.



I've probably mentioned before, I hate chalk and chalkboards everywhere else but in bathrooms. Chalk is just dusty and gross, and the sound on the board is terrible. But I'm fine with it in a setting like this because I can immediately wash my hands. And being able to erase everything once in a while is good; when the graffiti builds up a little too much in a bathroom where it's allowed, you can't really read it any more.



I need to go back. They keep advertising a turducken burger on Facebook. I could go my whole life without eating an actual turducken, but I definitely want to try the turducken burger. Plus, they do a bloody mary bar on the weekends.

Fantastic and Tacky Bathrooms You Can Buy

I never really considered posting bathrooms from homes here, because nobody reading the blog is likely to ever get a chance to see them in person. And we're lucky if most people's bathrooms are clean; they usually don't end up decorated very well.

But I just saw this blog post about an amazingly awful-looking condo for sale, and couldn't resist posting the bathroom.

I kinda love it. I have an issue, though. Everything that's white should be gold. I don't even like gold, but it would be so appropriate here. I'd have a hard time showering in there because it seems wrong to enter without wearing silken robes and a large hat. And there should probably be a hookah next to the toilet. The gold toilet.

I don't normally look at real estate listings much, but this one has haunted me for a while. It's a dream condo for me, and when none of my Mega Millions tickets were winners a couple of weeks ago, I was crushed to learn that I wouldn't be moving in. I really wanted to cook in that kitchen and especially wanted to drink wine in this bathtub.

I'm not even a bath person, but I would be in that one. From what I can tell, you can look straight up and see reflections of the streets below. It'd be like flying, only warm and wet instead of cold and windy. Alright, flying is probably way better, but I still want to do it.

Oh well. At least there's a nice big box of wine waiting at home.

Anyway, go check out these bathrooms while you can if you've got a few mil laying around or are good at pretending you do.

I'll make an exception

First Hill Bar and Grill is one of my favorite weird places. The food is great, the staff is friendly, and the people watching (inside and out) is unbeatable. 

The bathroom isn't great by any means. But it has this:

You don't see these very often, so it feels special when you do. Like you're in a 1990 museum exhibit. I haven't tried it, so I'm not sure if it works. I used the Old Spice in the men's room at Newport Bay in Southcenter once, and put on way too much, so I'm afraid of stuff like this. Even though it's awesome.

Vito's

927 Ninth Ave
Web / Yelp

One of my biggest regrets is not having spent more time at Vitos when I lived nearby on Boren. It was especially cool back then with its op-art wallpaper and cheesy mirrors. It was also inexpensive, divey, and mysterious. Sitting in one of their booths made you feel like you'd missed something naughty, either by years or hours.

I felt especially guilty when they closed. You know how it is. There's a cool place in the neighborhood, you don't go there as much as you should, you don't take people there, and then it's gone. You may not have been the problem, but you definitely weren't part of the solution. It happens.

Needless to say, I'm glad it's back. The new interior is stunning, too. It's gone from mobster shabby chic to an upscale cocktail lounge with fine dining, which was a smart move. The lounge menu (half price during happy hour!) is really great, too.

I really only have a few things to say about the men's room. It's small, but big enough. The tile is gleaming and perfect. And, they have my favorite kind of urinals.



Seriously, why can't all urinals be like this? I get that they use twice as much material and it's a bigger installation job, but anyone at any height can use them. And have you ever seen the floor below typical urinals in, say, a busy office building? So nasty. So, good for them for having this kind. Classic. Perfect. And there's a nice spot to put your drink.

Also, if you used to go to Vito's, and were wondering if the naked lady is still in there, it is. Can anyone tell me if there's a classy naked tile gentleman in the other bathroom?

I found a cute drawing in one of the bathrooms at Pony last night. I'm glad my phone's camera can get good shots as long as there's enough light.

Pony

1221 E Madison

Yelp / Stranger Bar Guide

Pony's new location on Madison is now open for business, in a more permanent home that still may end up a temporary one. The lot it sits on has been under review for a possible condo project for ages, but it's unlikely anyone will want to build there now that several other projects in the neighborhood have been sold at auction. It's obvious by looking at their sign that they plan to be around a while this time.

The space is an old flower shop that has been extensively remodeled and features an outdoor deck with walls made of discarded street signs. (If you want to build your own Pony at home, signs are available here.) The bar has a very different feel in its new location. Still naughty, but more established. It's as though the bar has a paid profile on Manhunt instead of its number on the truckstop wall. This all makes sense because they're going to be around for more than six months this time.

There are two bathrooms this time, labeled MEN and BOYS. They're nearly identical with their Stryper-meets-Beetlejuice-in-a-Jane-Fonda-workout-video stripes, but MEN features a black light and a strobe light. The black light isn't strong enough to have much of an effect, but the strobe is a lot of fun.

If it's your first time using a bathroom with a strobelight in it, you might be shocked to learn that urine doesn't leave the body in a steady stream. It actually comes out in small droplets. I made a video of this for you, but you'll have to click over to flickr to watch. Don't say you weren't warned.

If the strobe is too much for you, there's a lightswitch you can turn on for additional light. You can also visit the BOYS room, which I hope ends up with a disco ball in the future.

During our visit, I found an issue of Honcho from 1989 laying around, which reminded me that we always found porn hidden away at the old location. They also produced a PONY zine, which I bought. If they start it up again, I'll happily pick up every issue.

CC Attle's is going to close in a couple of years, and the future of The Cuff has been uncertain for quite some time. The Eagle also tried to expand into the space next to their bar several years ago, but couldn't get approval for their plans. With the sleazy gay bar scene in Seattle petering out, I'm happy to report that Pony has risen again, and has brought their air hockey table along for the ride.

One last thing I'd like to mention about Pony: the music was fantastic. Kudos to whoever mixed it!